John Hawkins Jr., M.S., L.M.H.C

Research shows the number one thing that attracts people to each other is authenticity - just being yourself. This is hard for most people to believe. Just genuinely being who I am is what will draw people to me? But I can tell you after working with so many people this is valid.

The thing that makes it so hard to be our real self is shame. Shame tells us who we truly are is not enough. We're not smart enough, attractive enough, or deficient in some way. If we expose our authentic self, others will reject us and turn away. It takes tremendous courage to show who we really are.

Conquering shame

The solution is to focus on overcoming shame. Defeating shame is what will enable you to have the bravery to become your true self. There are more resources than ever to aid you. I would start with the work of Brene Brown. She has dedicated the majority of her career to helping others conquer shame. Moreover, find at least one person you can progressively take risks to be vulnerable with who can validate and affirm the worthiness of your true self.

Authenticity breeds authenticity 

As you become more authentic, you will find an increasing number of authentic people showing up in your life. The primary reason for this is you will create an environment of safety for them to show their true self as well: your comfort level will put them at ease and help them feel safer to exercise a higher level of vulnerability.

The truth is you are more than enough. Believe this wholeheartedly! Be the person who encourages others to be more authentic as well. Take these steps today, and watch what starts to happen.


John Hawkins Jr., M.S., L.M.H.C.

John has helped thousands of clients overcome the hidden internal blocks which had kept them from achieving their maximum potential. Furthermore, he has assisted them in gaining clarity of their true life purpose, identifying their gifts and talents, and developing lives of greater meaning and significance. 

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