Sometimes the hardest person to trust is yourself. As I'm writing this the faces of so many of the clients I've worked with who have struggled with addiction come to mind. I'm recalling their faces as they sat in my office filled with shame and despair at having relapsed yet again. I know this feeling all to well as I have walked in their shoes frustrated with myself for yet again engaging in self-destructive behaviors and letting those in my life down.
The journey out of this place is often long and painful. Maybe, for you it's not drugs and alcohol but food, compulsive spending, pornograpy, or losing control of your anger. Managing the moment following using whatever compulsive behavior you reach for is crucial to whether you take a step back towards recovery and health or deeper into the abyss of shame and self-contempt. You have to make a split second decision whether you will reach for support or disappear into isolation and escape. Before you can earn back the trust of others, you have to start to gain it back from yourself. Exercising vulnerability and honesty is the first step to learning to trust yourself again.
There is never a stuck place
It might be your battle with procrastination. Every entrepreneur and high achiever I have worked with struggles with procrastination at times. Perhaps, you continue to enter into emotionally unhealthy or abusive relationships. You are so frustrated with yourself for yet again being with this type of person. For some of you, it may be following through on your commitment to leave a dissatisfying job or pursue a long held dream or aspiration.
Whatever the case, I have come to believe there is never a stuck place; you just need a 'thinner slice' so to speak to achieve success. No matter how many times you have let yourself down in various ways, make today the day you begin to earn back your trust. Find some area no matter how small and take action. It could be making a phone call you have been avoiding or responding to an email. Gain your trust somewhere. No matter how insignificant this may seem, a win is a win. This will lead to you attaining a level of momentum. Then just keep taking the next step.
Everyone falls down
Don't give up on yourself. Everyone falls down in different ways. No matter how many bad decisions you have made, you are capable of making a good one. Believe in yourself and your abilities and start the process of learning to trust yourself. If you read this far into the post, that's a win. Just keep building from there. I believe in you wholeheartedly!
John Hawkins Jr., M.S., L.M.H.C.
John has helped thousands of clients overcome the hidden internal blocks which had kept them from achieving their maximum potential. Furthermore, he has assisted them in gaining clarity of their true life purpose, identifying their gifts and talents, and developing lives of greater meaning and significance.