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KEY 005: Making Decisions Based on Wisdom Instead of Fear

What This Episode is About

Have you ever taken a bold step and committed to doing something big? But then, just before you did it you changed your mind. Was it fear or was it wisdom that caused that change? We'll explore how to tell the different between fear and wisdom when it comes to your toughest decisions.

That's It! I'm Quitting my Job

In late 2018, Paul was running a local radio station while also working with several high-level clients launching their podcasts and building-out multiple marketing funnels. During his "free time" he was keeping up the 2 1/2 acres of land he owned along with their house. This was in addition to his work with the NFL and his responsibilities as a dad and husband. Phew!

It goes without saying, Paul was running on fumes and burning out quickly. He decided to put the house up for sale, use some of the proceeds from that sale to build a financial buffer and quit his job at the radio station so he could better help his existing clients and add a few more, increasing his income. 

After squeezing out the time to get the house ready for sale and entertaining several offers, he signed on a contract with a buyer and eventually closed on the home. He had the cash in hand but suddenly had a change of heart. He no longer wanted to quit the job and bring on more clients.

Hard Work Doesn't Have to be Painful

"I thought I was being irresponsible and not providing for my family."

Paul had been working with John Hawkins Jr on removing some internal blocks which were causing him to overwork in areas which didn't energize him. Through this process he realized these internal blocks kept his from seeing the financial value in the activities he loved doing.

Even though he didn't consciously realize it, Paul found out he was internally programmed to believe "honorable work" wasn't supposed to be something you enjoy. 

After multiple sessions with John, Paul realized his sub-cortical or subconscious brain was telling him he had to struggle and strain to earn an income. This was a powerful but hidden block which kept him from doing what he loved; performing for and entertaining others.

This all tied back to his father who grew up in severe poverty and instilled the notion that you weren't being responsible if you weren't working hard and "working hard" had to be painful.

Paul knew his dad wasn't trying to make his life more painful but actually was operating out of love for him. Paul's dad had personally experienced the pain of poverty and didn't want that for any of his children. So he taught them to always work hard and do what guaranteed a stable income for the family.

That meant anything enjoyable, even if it could eventually provide a decent living, had to be done on the side.

Freedom To Do What You Love

John worked with Paul to remove the emotional blocks that were keeping him from doing what he loved and what energized him. Paul knew he could be financially successful as a performer and entertainer, but always had this invisible force which came against him when he tried to focus solely on that work.

Now that he was free of those blocks, he no longer felt compelled to continue his marketing work with his clients. Instead of using his financial resources to cover his loss of income from his job, he was now enjoying his work at the radio station while also focusing on creating podcasts and other digital media content which fell within his higher purpose or calling.

Success Is Within You Not Around You

Admittedly, Paul knows his income would have increased dramatically if he had pursued his marketing work, but his joy and fulfillment would have decreased because he wasn't doing what he was inherently gifted to do.

John asked Paul to spend some time being aware of what he felt in his body when he thought about running a marketing agency and then what he felt when he thought about being on a stage or behind a microphone sharing his passion and entertaining his audience. 

Success is something you FEEL within you, not something you SEE around you.

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There was no question in Paul's mind or his body, the place he belonged was behind that microphone. 

Tracking and Noticing is The Key

"The answers are found within you, when you are still and wait for them."

- John Hawkins Jr.

In the past, Paul had learned how to "shift his state" to push THROUGH the blocks. These tools and resources he used for this state shift were beneficial but only temporarily. He was forcing his way through the blocks rather than completely removing them. This was exhausting and ultimately led to an extremely high level of burnout.

When John worked with Paul to have him track and notice what he was feeling in his body as he thought of being a performer or entertainer, strangely, Paul felt guilt over his lack of responsibility for his family. John had him sit with that and continue to track and notice whatever happened in his body. 

As this process continued, Paul had memories of his dad show up in his head. It was in these memories that he realized he was worried his dad would think he wasn't doing what he had to do to provide for this family.

Paul sat with that feeling for quite some time, allowing it to become fully processed within. As he continued to simply sit quietly with that thought, he suddenly had a flash pop into his head,

 "I remember when I told my dad I was quitting my job as an engineer at a Fortune 100 company and going to work in radio. He was thrilled for me and he said he passed on an opportunity to go into TV years ago and regretted it."

Remove the Block and Potential Flows

John pointed out how once the negative memory was fully processed and experienced, it opened Paul's mind up to allow the positive to come through and reinforce his desire to do what he felt called to do, entertain.

For decades Paul struggled with this block, keeping him from pursuing his passion. Even when Paul did go into radio, he worked part time as a real estate agent and took on extra work doing appearances on the weekend. This block kept him from simply doing what he loved and accepting that it had a real and stable value. 

Replace the Negative with Positive

This is a vital part of reconsolidating your implicit memories and something that shouldn't be overlooked. Take the time to experience the new positive emotions you're feeling. This means REALLY experience them.

As Paul's blocks and memories of him at his worst disappeared, John had him bring up new empowering mental experiences of himself at his best.

"Imagine yourself on a stage and everyone is laughing and clapping as you share your insight. How does that make you feel?"

This is what John had Paul sit with for an extended period of time while John observed Paul's facial expressions and body language. He could tell when Paul was truly FELLING that emotion in his body. That's when he had him sit with that and just be aware of how it feels. 

The Key Podcast - Discover the Key to a life filled with passion, prosperity, and maximum potential.

Don't light the charcoal too soon

When you put lighter fluid on charcoal briquettes, you have to let them soak in before you light them. If you don't, the fluid burns off before the briquettes start to burn.

When you sit with the emotional feelings of a new positive and energizing experience for an extended period of time, you allow new neural pathways to develop which have a lasting effect on your implicit memory.

More Powerful Than a State Change

If you've ever experienced a Tony Robbins event, you've seen and maybe even experienced his work helping people change their state when they're held back by negative experiences. This is incredibly powerful and a useful tool for us all have available.

Unfortunately, this mental state change or shift often needs to be reset. If we don't stay diligent about it we risk lapsing back into our old ways. This is because a state change or shift isn't replacing our implicit memories with new ones, it's simply pushing them to the side. 

Again, this is very powerful, but once you've experienced what we discuss in this episode, you never have to worry about that negative memory blocking you again. It's completely gone and not just shifted out of the picture.

So, Was It Fear or Wisdom?

Originally, Paul made the decision to sell his home and go "all in" on his marketing business when he was still operating under his old state of mind with all of those negative blocks. 

Now that Paul feels free to do what energizes him and fulfills his passion and purpose, he's able to make a new decision in that new mental and emotional state and have complete clarity and peace about it.

Paul now has a very well defined "Clean Why" which is pushing him beyond his previous success to the next level where that success is internal as well as external. 

How to Get a Deeper Understanding

If you've just finished reading this and you want to know more about how this works, take a few minutes and listen to the episode in the player below. You can also listen to the show in your favorite podcast player. We've included links to the most popular ones just below the player.

In the next episode we explain the importance of having a clearly defined WHY and also look at the difference between a Clean Why and a Dirty Why. Make sure you subscribe to the show so you don't miss it. 

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What is The Key?

The KEY to better relationships, improved finances, and achieving peak performance isn't somewhere "out there" in another book, seminar, or training program, it already exists within you. You don't have to go find it, you just have to unlock it... and that's what show you how to do on The Key Podcast.

Paul desmond adams

Personal development coach

purpose | goals | career | relationships | Wellness

Paul is a super high achiever trapped in a misfits body. He's dreamed of and worked towards the highest levels of success, but held back by disorganization, distraction, and procrastination. He's always known what to do but hasn't been able to do what he knows... and it wasn't his fault. 

John hawkins jr, M.S., L.M.H.C.


peak performance strategist

John is a licensed psychotherapist who has helped thousands of people deal with past trauma, addiction, and broken relationships. After years of helping people breakthrough their internal blocks to success, he now realizes most us KNOW what to do, we just don't DO what we know... and it's typically not our fault. 

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